Lady REDEEMED

Dear readers,

Tonight I again open my heart that I might glorify the Father. I lay it bare, that His name might be lifted up, for that is my call.

For me, friendship is very hard, and for so long it seemed, unbearably hard. Now that I am a wife, and God has grown me substantially, and I have had friends who have borne with me patiently in my growth though I have surely often wearied them, I have decided that friendship is worth it, though it be a cross. So what shall we say? Is friendship a cross? For hearts like mine, the answer is a resounding yes. Friendship, the thing that I have so long earnestly desired, is difficult for me. Though I am securely attached to my husband, and the thought of friends leaving my life does not panic me the way that it would have years ago, there are still whispers of disappointment: will these people I have loved drift out of my life once again? It does not frighten me, but it wearies and saddens me, and I question the point of it all.

But questioning the loss of friendship is not the biggest cross, for I know that everyone will fail, at some point or another, and I dare not exalt someone to the point of dependence or reliance, for they as all humans do, shall fail if put in a place that only God deserves. No…

The hardest part of friendship is the realization that it may always be a struggle that in some manner, at some point, will affect my relationships. To my friends who already understand:

I love you all the more for loving me in spite of the fact that our relationship is more work than it should be.

I’m sorry for how difficult it can be to be my friend. I weary of the pain that I could cause, without ever wanting to. To exhaust you is what pains me more than the warring I must do within myself, for I would rather fight an army than cause you any discontent. For however much you are wearied, my weariness is amplified.

I have often wanted to hide away in the absence of all the joy your friendship could offer, thinking that you would be better off, even though surely I would not be, because God has blessed me with you. But as I grow with the Lord I come to see something that I have never seen before, and perhaps you have never considered… God is training us both, and is working in you as much as He is working in me, through our friendship. God is being glorified in us both, and He is working according to His own will, and for His own glory, which is of far greater worth than any ease or convenience that we could ever enjoy in the bond of a friendship free from the weight of the Fall.

In all of this, I long for Heaven. My tears are for the redemption that is now being worked imperfectly, but one day will be made complete, when we are fully released from the weight of sin, pain, and brokenness in all forms. Where everything is as it should be, and we are fully free to enjoy friendship as it was intended. Until then I will look to the Savior, at whose holy feet we have both fallen on equal ground, where none is greater than another.

So what shall I say? I will continue to carry my cross. I will continue to love you and pursue friendship. I will continue to bear my burden, as I delight to bear yours. And as surely as the Son has risen from the dead, I will be strengthened as I bear it…perhaps He will ask you to bear it with me, but in every circumstance, it is His strength that has truly borne our sorrows.

I look forward with hope to the day that there will be no more crosses , whether relationally or otherwise. Where everything will be as it was meant to be, and every wrong be put to right. Where the sorrow of this world, and the striving that we cried out in, will be a mere memory, overshadowed by everlasting joy, and we shall never cry again, but for the overwhelming joy of the presence of our Savior, who friendship was meant to reflect.

As you think about our friendship, remember that we were made to reflect the Savior’s heart. Remember that God designed us for relationships that reflect his faithfulness, longsuffering, compassion, and love, though we can only be at best a dim reflection, but let us both strive for that. Yes, for this redeemed woman, friendship is a cross… you should have seen it before I was redeemed…

But I will bear my cross of friendship, as I look to the One who has already gone before me…Jesus Christ, the righteous, and my rescuer. I will glorify the Savior in my relationship with you, and thank God for you often in my prayers. For the love of God that called us both has far transcended any weakness within this earthly frame, and He will fulfill His promises.

What is the final say then? Iron shall continue to sharpen iron, even when that sharpening is painful…and Hell shall tremble at the result of this friendship that God has ordained, even in spite of our human fragility and weakness.

I love you, and that love is worth carrying my cross.

With Very great love,

Your redeemed friend, who is being renewed day by day, as I lean upon the Savior’s grace, with thanksgiving for you.