Lady REDEEMED

Dear readers

Can I be honest? I was mean to the Lord yesterday. I cried out in my anxiety and sadness and yelled accusatory assumptions at Him, even knowing that they weren’t true, and yet knowing that surely He delights in our honesty, even when the raw mess isn’t polite or good. He already knows what is bound inside of us…those things that we try to stuff down but ultimately come out when the fires get hot enough (Matthew 15:18). I felt bad about it yesterday after I did it, for as I drove, listening to a song I didn’t even want to hear, and angry at the One we love the most, His own love overcame my sadness and weakness veiled as anger, and He granted me a peace that could only be explained by His Holy Spirit. I was finitely aware that the Spirit was making intercession for me, and that in spite of the ugliness of my sin defiling the One who is without blame, the Savior did not return the anger. Instead, it was tenderness that I received, and comfort instead of discipline. “And you’re probably mad at me for saying that!” I shouted, though in His omniscience, He knew that I was really just bracing for anger as I exposed the raw truth of what I was feeling unjustly towards Him, for I knew it was unjust, but there is no point hiding any of it from Him. I wanted him to help me with these feelings, though I did not say it out loud. Fortunately, though He causes some things to bubble to the surface and come forth from our mouths, He also understands the things that we cannot find words for.

I felt sadness then as I was given the grace of a good session with my client, and felt almost more convicted by the peace I received than the anger I deserved for speaking to a King in such a way. In fact, I still feel some measure of sadness about it, even in the wake of repentance, though true repentance is often characterized by sadness. I am saddened not because of condemnation, but because I am heartbroken that I could wound someone as precious and infinitely worthy of love, affection, adoration… (insert every other good adjective in the history of the written word), as the Savior.

Yet as I went to sleep last night, very exhausted from the emotional outpouring that I had experienced earlier, I did so with the kind assurance that Jesus is advocating for me, before the throne of the Father (Romans 8:34, 1 John 2:1). This advocate is not untouched by the pain of the World, but in fact He faced more suffering than you or I ever will, and yet our Master, stronger than us, did not sin or waver in His goodness to us or devotion to the Father’s plan (Hebrews 4:15).

As we enter this season leading up to the remembrance of the crucifixion, I remember (as one of our military Chaplain’s said this past Sunday) that some of Jesus’ dying words were a prayer of forgiveness offered for the ones who crucified Him. And lest we forget, while we may not have been there to be involved in the enactment of His physical death, it was because of our sin that He gave His life.

As He hung dying, bleeding, and completely humiliated in every sense, he said “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). As our chaplain noted, the results of this impossibly compassionate prayer have transcended time and generations, and continue to be seen. How much more does He advocate for those who seek intimate connection with Him, the little children for whom He died and rose, and still abides with? Yes, we are forgiven, with transforming, willing, and whole forgiveness, unlike the impure and begrudging forgiveness that we often give to others. I have been forgiven much, as have you, and as I continue learning to forgive as Jesus did, I also learn to embrace the full weight of the redemption we have received. Surely love demands that we pursue holiness and not use this forgiveness as a license to sin…rather, let us take the full freedom of His redemptive, everlasting sacrifice, and in this freedom be enslaved.

And now Father I pray that as I have spoken your Word, that you would send it to accomplish all of your purposes; I trust you to remember your promise that it would not return to you void. Thank you for the sheep that you have brought into the fold, and the Ones that you have yet to draw unto yourself in your everlasting, relentless love. I worship you along with all those you’ve redeemed for your incomparable and all encompassing, limitless forgiveness and grace. It was your love that called us, saved us, and shall keep us. Keep us now from the evil One, and let us be assured of all You have spoken.

In Jesus name,

Amen.

With very great love,

~Lady Redeemed

P.S. What does this forgiveness lead you to do? How does it change you? How then shall you live? Tell me what Jesus has done for you, and we will glorify Him together for it. I already glorify Him for you, all who read this.